3-Strike Stories: The Wife of Dan

Family History:

Dan was born in 1959. My husband shares very little of his childhood. He was raised by his father since infancy. His mother was killed when he was very young. His father traveled for work and Dan grew up on his own. He tells me he always felt he was in the way, an inconvenience and "why did no one care enough about me to teach me what I needed to know." He left home at 17 and worked his way through trade school. He is a Journeyman Welder. He installed custom stainless steel restaurant fixtures nationwide. So he could be closer to home he found his own work by contacting local restaurants and contractors and employed others. His "old school" training makes the quality of his work some of the best.

The Strikes:

5 strikes: One Robbery conviction, 5-counts, no weapon (2nd degree robbery).
3. Possession, 3-counts.
The Romero decision reduced our sentence from 75 to 28-years.

The Story:

I met a man who had just been released from prison. Life was not easy. Nightmares and fear kept him from sleep. People accusing, taking advantage and police questions after an 18-hour workday kept him from peace. I have never known anyone to work so hard to do what was right, but no one wanted to believe he was at home carving pumpkins or trimming the Christmas tree. There were days when drugs got the better of him, it wasn't easy and there was not place to turn for help. We did manage, up until the day I was fired from my job. He decided to share a room with someone he had just met, he believed I was fired because we lived together. I didn't like it. I was afraid for him, because we didn't know anything about this person. He wanted me safe and able to work. He was right, I was fired because I lived with a man who had been in prison. I was right, he was not safe. He was arrested when the roommate told the police "its not me, but he has been in prison before." The system offered a deal and he responded "I did something wrong before, but this is not right."

We had very little resources, monies due were never paid as soon as it was known he had been arrested. We struggled through the legal issues not knowing how to proceed. Court appointed counsel not once returned a phone call or letter; not one did he talk to Dan about the circumstances. I told him to have faith in the system, but we were sentenced under 3-Strikes.

Our reality is very harsh. We are on opposite ends of the state, we get one 15-minute phone call a month. I travel by bus every 6-weeks for a 4-hour visit. We sit side-by-side and hold hands. We can hug and kiss for 2-minutes when I arrive and again when I leave. There are no overnight visits. It leaves little time to discuss all that needs to be taken care of.

Our household runs at about 25% of what it was. The mortgage is paid but not much more. I worry about me, how will I keep our household going without him. How will I manage without good food, the daily necessities we took for granted. What will happen if I get sick, there is no medical insurance.

My parents say they are proud of us because we stuck together. I feel pride, we can still look each other in the eye, and he had the courage to stand up for what be believed to be right in spite of the consequences.

Other Comments:

I always believed in our system, but not anymore. Now I am afraid. Driving is difficult, I am afraid I will be unaware of my surroundings and they will lock me away. He is so thin. I worry about him every day. I worry about his health and lack of good food. I worry about his safety, as 3-Strikers are locked away with the violent criminals. I worry that he will give up, and I will get a call saying he did not wake up. I am alone now, no longer accepted in business or social situations. We were not much different than most, except now we live with anger, shame and fear. It could happen to anyone, in the blink of an eye and there is no place to turn for help. I wonder why treatment of his addiction was never available even though treatment has proven to be more effective than incarceration. I wonder if I will ever have a reason to laugh or not be afraid.

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Date last modified: 7/4/97.